Journey to Queyon: The Innocence Cycle, Book 3 Page 5

  “Anakh’s eidola have also begun to strengthen the coordination of their efforts by joining together in a place deep in the heart of Penumbra. Much like what you saw in the images inside the third door when Yaelmargon was here.”

  Though Elena didn’t shift, her face reflected the pallor and vulnerability of a child backed into a corner, steeling herself for the next crippling blow. “And they will continue to come after me ...” She breathed as if a heavy weight lay on her chest.

  Celdorn sat in the chair next to her. “We’ll keep you safe, little one.” He loosened Elena’s hands from Sasha’s scruff and wrapped his hands around them, willing his strength into her.

  “For how long, Celdorn? They won’t stop until I’m dead.”

  “They do not want to eliminate you,” Elbrion said.

  Elena gaped at him. “What? Why?” The look of confusion she wore twisted Celdorn’s heart.

  Elbrion placed a hand on her head as if to ease his coming words. “From the stranger’s memory, I learned that an eidolon had instructed a horde of Anakh’s servants to be certain they did not harm you. You have value to them but only if you are alive.”

  “I don’t understand. Anakh herself tried to kill me. What has changed?”

  Elbrion frowned and his light dimmed. “Anakh’s people asked the same thing, but they were told it was not for them to question. All we know is they now want you alive, and they want you back under their control. They are willing to go to great lengths to see that it happens.”

  “I wish I understood what they want from me. What do I possibly have to offer them besides my zhadhar? What good am I to them?”

  No one spoke for no one knew the answer.

  ~

  In the evening, Celdorn braced himself and gathered his inner circle. “I will leave in the morning in search of Domar.”

  Elena’s head shot up, and she stared at him from wide, tear-filled eyes. He looked away. It was cowardly not to have told her in private first, but he was afraid his resolve would waver. There was no debating it, he had to go; no one else could bear this responsibility. Somehow, he and Elbrion would help her to see that. Eventually, she would accept it. He hoped.

  “We have a good idea of his whereabouts from the intruder. It seems they have set up a new training camp in Penumbra since there is no Guardian oversight in that region—another failure we need to rectify.” Celdorn gazed around at his men, still avoiding Elena. “I will take Elbrion and Shatur, whose eyes we’ll need to see through any deceptions we may encounter. The rest of you will remain here to guard Elena.”

  “Ada, you need them with you more than I need them here,” Elena objected.

  Gathering his resolve, Celdorn finally looked at her. He’d expected her to object to his leaving out of fear for her own safety, but instead she was concerned for his welfare. The pain on her face as she peeked over Sasha’s head tendered his heart and made it ache. “Little one, your fath—Domar and Anakh are both in pursuit of you, which puts you in grave danger. This intruder was sent by Domar, and we have no idea how many others he may have enlisted to retrieve you. He and Anakh both know you’re here. You must be protected, and there are none I trust more than those in this room. I will be taking the men from Marach with me. Next to those you see here, I will have the best and most experienced of the Guardians accompanying me. I will be safe.”

  “I would beg you not to go for I feel a dark foreboding, telling me that it will not end well, but I know that you won’t heed my warning.”

  “All will be well, little one. In the end, all will be well,” Celdorn assured her.

  She shook her head and buried her face in Sasha’s neck, his words of no comfort to her.

  Silvandir cleared his throat. “What orders do you have for us while you are gone?” When Celdorn turned his gaze, Silvandir was glancing at Elena worriedly and rubbing his jaw.

  “Elena is not to leave this floor until I have returned—nor are any of you. As we know, some of Anakh’s workers can take on the appearance of another, so if you are watching each other, no one can appear in guise. Two of you must be at Elena’s side at all times. She will sleep in my bed. The rest of you will sleep in front of the doors and windows to this and Elbrion’s room, so that no one can access these chambers during the night. The guards will be strengthened around the perimeter of the keep and for this wing and the terrace.”

  Celdorn paused. “Elbrion, would you please take Elena into your room while I discuss a sensitive matter with the men?”

  Elbrion rose and waited next to Elena. She eyed Celdorn suspiciously, but stood and followed Elbrion with no argument. Sasha stayed by her side, tail tucked as if she shared the girl’s misgivings.

  After they left, Celdorn looked down. The weight and consequence of what he must disclose pressed heavy on his shoulders. “I don’t know how to approach this with the delicacy it deserves, but I must be forthright with you in order to make certain Elena is protected.” He paused and drew a deep breath. “As you know, there are times when Elena shifts and does not appear to be ... herself. Sometimes when she is in these other states, she does things she would not otherwise do.” Celdorn rose and paced the length of the table, struggling to find the words to continue.

  “Speak plainly, Celdorn,” Haldor encouraged him. “These are your most trusted friends.”

  Celdorn stopped and put his hand on Haldor’s shoulder. “You’re right.” He nodded to himself. “One night, not long ago, Elena, in an altered form, came into my room while I slept. I awoke to a knife at my throat. She bound my hands and attempted to seduce me.”

  Several of the men looked down, appropriately shocked and uncomfortable.

  “I didn’t recognize her upon waking. Her hair and skin were darker, like a Rogaran woman, and she looked older and more ...mature.” When he faltered, his face warmed. He began to pace again to hide his discomfort. “Elbrion was able to bring her back to herself when I called for his aid. She remembered nothing of what happened, except the condition she was in when she awakened. Terrified of her actions and deeply ashamed, she wanted to leave Kelach, to protect us from her. Of course, we would not allow that. We don’t know what brought on this episode, nor do we know when or if it might happen again. In this other state, she is highly ... salacious, as well as being adept with a weapon.

  “I tell you this, not to expose or shame her further, but to prepare you in the event such an episode repeats itself while we are gone. Haldor, you’re able to speak light in the same way as Elbrion. He can instruct you in how to call her back from these trances. I fully trust that none of you would take advantage of her in that or any other circumstance; we just need to be careful how we handle her so that the shame doesn’t destroy her.” Celdorn, still pacing, shook his head in frustration. “She would be horrified to know I discussed this with you, but I felt I had to prepare you.”

  “We will do everything within our power to protect her safety and her dignity,” Haldor assured him.

  Celdorn paused to stand behind Braiden, whose head was down. “I have no doubt she will be well cared for while I’m gone; I deeply trust each one of you.” He squeezed the young healer’s shoulders.

  “Celdorn, may I speak freely on another matter?” Silvandir asked.

  “You may.” Celdorn studied him as he paled and squirmed in his seat, fists clenching and unclenching.

  “In the event that something should happen to you and Elbrion during this pursuit ...” Silvandir paused and rubbed his neck. “If-if you should not return safely ...” He rose and faced Celdorn, beads of sweat forming on his brow. “I want you to know that it is my desire to take care of Elena, to provide a home and protection for her ... if ... if I were to have your blessing in doing so. Your permission to ask her to marry me.”

  Silvandir tugged at his collar and looked like he might pass out any moment. He glanced at Mikaelin as if for support, but his friend seemed to be in no better condition. The others gawked at Silvandir, dumbfounded that their st
raight-laced, controlled comrade had taken such a leap.

  “I would not speak so freely nor so rashly, if circumstances were different, but in the event that she is left alone, I want you to know my heart. I will take care of her.”

  Celdorn frowned. “Are you sure this isn’t coming from some misguided desire to atone for the past?”

  Silvandir winced at the question. “No, sir. It is not.”

  The pain in Silvandir’s eyes gave Celdorn pause, but he had to ask. “What of your vow?”

  Taking a deep breath, Silvandir squared his shoulders and met Celdorn’s gaze. “I have never been tempted to break it before, and I didn’t expect this now. I just know that when I spoke with Elena that first night, my heart was turned and forever changed. It has been dead so long, I didn’t know I could feel such things. Though there are some similarities between Elena’s and Tirah’s circumstances, I don’t believe I have the two confused. I’m not moved by pity or shame but by deep affection that has grown immensely since that first encounter.”

  Celdorn considered Silvandir’s words. “I believe you. And should we not return, I would be at peace knowing she is in your care. You’re a good man, Silvandir. If such circumstances arise and Elena agrees, you have my blessing.” He leaned in and embraced the young man. “Though I hope with all my heart it doesn’t come to that.”

  “And I as well.” Silvandir returned the hug, thumping Celdorn’s back in his enthusiasm. “I pray these words have merely been an effort in futility, but I thank you for hearing my heart nonetheless.”

  ~

  Mikaelin watched the exchange, feeling as if someone had struck his frigid heart with a warhammer. He longed to have the courage and confidence of Silvandir, to be a whole man so he could offer Elena what she deserved. Silvandir was the better man for her, but how he wished their roles were reversed.

  He crossed his arms and slid his hands under them so no one could see them tremble. Until that moment, he hadn’t realized how fond of Elena he had grown. Now he felt like a boat cut loose, adrift with no sail or oars, victim to the currents that could carry him to oblivion.

  A strong wave of emotion flooded Mikaelin—not his own—pulling his attention back to Celdorn. Tears welled in his lord’s eyes before he turned his back to those seated and paced with a fury. Mikaelin knew Celdorn was trying to outrun his emotion, as if movement could somehow stop the torrents. It was a futile effort; one he often employed himself. A sympathetic smile tugged at his lips.

  “We’ll depart at first light,” Celdorn said, looking back toward his men though he continued his frenetic movement, his hands in fists. “Haldor will stand in my stead. Silvandir, I turn the leadership of Kelach back to you. Tobil, go to the men of Marach and tell them to be ready to ride at dawn. Shatur, see to it that they have the supplies they need and prepare our horses and packs as well.”

  Mikaelin was ready to flee the room when Haldor spoke up.

  “Celdorn, should we send messengers after the Greenholt and Dussendor units to warn them of possible delays? This mission to the south may alter the Marach contingent’s ability to rendezvous with them in the two-week time frame.”

  Celdorn rubbed his neck and nodded. “Make it so.”

  Mikaelin started to rise when Haldor spoke again.

  “Should I ask them to hold off their departure or proceed and let the Marach men follow after?”

  “They won’t have enough Ilqazar without Marach, and the children can’t walk such a great distance.” Celdorn shook his head. “No, they must wait. I want those children well cared for and well guarded. Tell them to hold off another week.”

  “Wisely spoken. I will see to it.”

  Celdorn stood behind Haldor and gripped one shoulder. “Elbrion and I will need some time with Elena. This is going to be difficult for her. We will be in Elbrion’s room, if any of you need me.”

  Mikaelin rose and headed toward the balcony, hurrying to get out of the door before the tears caught up with him.

  ~

  Celdorn’s heart was heavy as he dragged himself through the antechamber, past Elena’s empty bed where she had nearly died those many months ago. His feet stalled. This was his daughter’s room. His daughter ...

  Pain twisted his belly. They had just honored her as such and now he was forced to leave her. He knew he must in order to protect her, but he also knew she’d never understand. She’d only feel it as yet another abandonment. With a heavy sigh, he forced himself onward.

  Celdorn found Elbrion sitting on his couch by the fire, Elena stretched out next to him, her head in his lap. Sasha lay on the floor at Elbrion’s feet, her ears up, alert to Celdorn’s approach.

  Elbrion sang softly while Elena wept. When Celdorn sat by her feet, a knot formed in his throat. The immensity of her sadness had overwhelmed him the moment he entered the room.

  Elena sat up and gazed at him. Tear dripped from her chin unchecked. “I fear this is the last I will see of you.” She sniffled and swiped at her nose. “My heart is dark with warning.”

  Celdorn pulled her into his arms. A thousand words swirled through his mind, but he couldn’t voice them. He clung to Elena, trying to find his way through the whirlwind of emotions. Finally he cleared his throat and forced himself to speak.

  “The day we returned to Kelach and found you after Loqarad’s attack, I was certain you were going to die. The thought of losing you tore me in two. I realized when that pain hit my heart that I had already become a father to you.” He paused as his own tears fell. “The next few days, as your life hung in the balance, I thought I might die along with you. I’m relieved you are well now and growing ever stronger in so many ways.” He laid his hand on her damp cheek. “Somehow, deep in my heart, I know that we will be given more time than this. I believe the Jhadhela will protect Elbrion and me, and bring us back to you.”

  “But my heart says otherwise,” Elena whispered between sobs.

  “I, too, have the sense that we have many years ahead with you, Sheya,” Elbrion said. “The Elrodanar cannot easily be killed, and this blood is in Celdorn as well. The Jhadhela is infused into our being and that light cannot be snuffed out. We will return to you.”

  “And what if you don’t? What will I do then?” She curled into Celdorn, her body heaving.

  Celdorn let her weep. After some time, he said, “All will be well, little one. In the end, all will be well. You need to trust that we will return and not allow your mind to go to those dark places.”

  “My heart doesn’t know how to hope, Ada.” She wiped her nose unceremoniously on her sleeve and looked up at him. “Everything I ever dared to love has been taken away.”

  A stab pierced Celdorn’s chest with such intensity it almost bent him in two. He sucked in a breath. He had a good idea what memories and grief were assailing Elena. “Oh, little one,” he soothed, willing her his strength. “You will be surrounded by love while we’re gone. These men, our closest friends, will assist you in keeping hope alive. When your heart grows dark, speak freely to them. They will help restore light. Trust them as you would us. They won’t fail you.”

  Elbrion laid his hands on Elena’s head and started to sing again. Gradually she relaxed in Celdorn’s arms until she drifted into sleep. His chest ached as he carried her to her room, with Sasha following closely behind. He settled Elena on the bed, her head in his lap. Sasha jumped up and curled next to the girl’s feet, watching Celdorn with her dark, pensive eyes.

  Celdorn watched over Elena through the night—something he hadn’t done since she’d been ill—unable to bring himself to leave her until dawn came and necessity required.

  Chapter 6

  Celdorn woke to light coming in through the open door leading to his chamber. He gently lifted Elena’s head, stood, and stretched. Sasha watched him but seemed content to stay where she was. He patted her head and whispered, “Guard her well while I am gone.” Sasha’s tail thumped as he leaned down and kissed Elena’s forehead. Then he turned to leave.
/>
  “Ada?” Elena’s sleepy voice murmured as he was about to walk out.

  He turned back. “Good morning, little one.”

  “The night is already gone?”

  “I’m afraid so.” Celdorn felt a jab in his chest. He wondered if it was her pain or his own.

  Elena sat up, hair wild. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “I must see to another matter first, but when you are dressed, come to my chamber. We will talk then.”

  “Do what you must, Ada. I’ll be out shortly.”

  From the door, he signaled for Mikaelin and Braiden to take over guarding Elena while he dealt with some necessary business.

  In his chamber, the other men hustled about, making preparations. Shatur had packed Celdorn’s things and set them by his bed. Giyon had laid out food so he and Elbrion could eat before leaving, though Celdorn had no intention of putting food in his churning belly.

  “Good morning, Celdorn,” Shatur greeted him. “The men from Marach are prepared and ready to assemble as soon as you call for them.”

  “We’ll leave shortly. You may summon them.”

  “Yes, sir.” Shatur headed to the door.

  Celdorn nodded for Silvandir to follow him to his desk on the far side of the chamber. From inside a small drawer, he withdrew a ring and slipped it into Silvandir’s hand, closing his fingers around it. “Give this to Elena in the event I don’t return.” He had to force the words past the massive lump in his throat.

  Silvandir’s eyes went wide. He swallowed hard and nodded as he put his other hand over Celdorn’s and squeezed. His lips trembled as he started to say something, then he bit the lower one and looked away.