Birth of Innocence: The Innocence Cycle, Book 4 Read online

  “Wh-what is it, El-Elena?” Braiden move closer and hesitantly laid his hand on her shoulder.

  Elena curled tighter and started to shift.

  “El-Elbrion!” Braiden yelled.

  Elbrion rushed into the room a moment later. He quickly took in the scene and hurried to Elena’s side. He laid his hand on her head and chanted soothingly. She was already small, but as he sang, she slowly started to return. “You are safe, Elena,” he assured her, “and so is your child. No one here will harm her.”

  When Elena was fully herself again, she turned to Elbrion with a torment in her eyes that sent a chill through Braiden. “Did you see?”

  Elbrion nodded. As he held her gaze, his light dimmed and luminous drops slid from his jaw.

  “Why would they do that?”

  Elbrion shook his head. He seemed at a loss for words as he lifted her head and moved in beside her to cradle her in his arms. After a time, his quivering lips moved. “Why, indeed. What sort of malevolence, what kind of animal must one be to desecrate a newborn? It is beyond comprehension.”

  Elena whimpered as she curled into his embrace. “I remember them slinging that information at me when I was older, but I didn’t understand. They spoke of marking me at birth and taking the maidenhead, but I didn’t know what that meant. They stole my innocence before I even passed my first day.” Elena burst into shuddering sobs.

  Braiden glanced from Elena to her child as the impact of her words struck him. He swallowed down the bile that rose. He watched as Silvandir’s body tensed and tears slid down his cheeks. He understood as well.

  Elbrion rocked Elena, singing as they swayed. Elena’s gaze moved to her child. “She is so tiny. I”—she swallowed a sob—“I was that tiny.” A violent spasm shook her body. “Please protect her, Ada,” she begged. “Please.”

  “She is safe, Sheyshon. Do not fear.”

  ~

  Silvandir was appalled as he listened and pieced together the meaning of Elena’s words. His gaze shifted from the tiny, innocent infant in his arms to his petite wife, who could not see her own innocence. Two of the most beautiful creatures he had ever seen. One so flawless. The other so shattered. Grief traded places with rage, which turned to fear for this child’s future then back to grief. He prayed. He begged. He longed for a different life for their daughter.

  In that moment, Silvandir embraced fatherhood.

  Chapter 40

  “She needs a name,” Silvandir said as he slowly paced back and forth with their slumbering child.

  Hours had passed. The room had been tidied. Elena now sat up, looking strong and fit, as if giving birth were no more difficult than climbing stairs. Celdorn, Elbrion, Mikaelin, and Braiden had taken turns holding the infant, no more at ease with it than Elena and he were. Silvandir wondered if he looked as comical as his brothers-in-arms, who stiffly held the baby as if she were made of fragile glass. It warmed his heart that their dear one was surrounded by so much love.

  Silvandir sat next to Elena on the bed, and they studied their daughter together.

  “What do you think of Karaelena?” Elena said.

  Silvandir smiled. “She is the light of our hearts. I think it is perfect.” He held the baby up. “What do you think, Karaelena? Does it suit you?”

  The infant wiggled, and her eyes opened.

  Elena jerked like someone had poked her with a pin and grabbed Silvandir’s arm. “She has another name.” Elena tipped her head as if listening to some far-off voice.

  “What are you hearing? And from whom?” he asked, suddenly on edge.

  “I think she’s telling me.”

  Silvandir stared at the baby. The other men stopped talking and listened.

  “She ... I’m hearing, ‘Bethuleah is one of my names.’”

  Silvandir felt as if the room had just tipped. Who was talking to Elena and why would they presume to speak for their child? Elena patted his arm and reached to take the baby from him.

  “Bethuleah?” Elbrion said, his brow furrowed. “Meaning maiden or virgin?”

  “In Raphar it means innocence,” Elena replied mechanically. She turned a quizzical gaze to Elbrion. “I don’t know how I knew that.”

  Elbrion nodded toward the child. “Perhaps she told you.”

  The room tilted again, and Silvandir grabbed the edge of the bed. How could their infant daughter be talking to Elena? That was impossible, crazy. What was Elbrion thinking?

  “I find it fascinating that you, who never knew one day of innocence, have now given birth to innocence.” Elbrion gave a quick nod. “I find it fitting and appropriate.”

  His words were like a punch to Silvandir’s gut. All Elena had endured since her first day in this world, all that had happened since she arrived at Kelach, all the suffering that brought them to this point, to the birth of this precious child, hit him full force.

  Elena burst into tears and swept their daughter into a tight embrace. “You are indeed the light of my heart, little one, and we will protect your innocence, our sweet Karaelena Bethuleah.”

  Silvandir sucked in a breath and fought back the tears that overwhelmed him. He wrapped his girls in a tight embrace. “You two are going to be the death of my warrior image,” he whispered into Elena’s neck.

  A few moments later, Elena stiffened and pulled back from Silvandir. Her gaze fixed on Celdorn. “What is it, Ada?” Silvandir followed her worried gaze to Celdorn, who frowned as he focused on the far wall, deep in thought.

  “The day Rhaenna, your internal guardian, appeared in our council and told us that innocence must be protected, we took it to mean one thing, but perhaps there was another meaning.” Elena’s eyes widened. “We didn’t realize you were with child at the time, but Rhaenna most likely did. Was she telling us that protecting not only you but this child was to be our highest priority?”

  The room fell silent. No one, except Rhaenna perhaps, knew the answer to that.

  Silvandir couldn’t breathe. The ramifications of that thought staggered him. Was their child’s life going to be like Elena’s? Would Karaelena be a perpetual target of Anakh’s attacks? How would he protect them?

  Braiden finally broke the tense silence with a more pragmatic topic. “El-Elena, would you l-like me to find you a w-wet nurse?”

  Elena stared at him blankly then shook her head. “I don’t know what that means?”

  “A w-woman who breastfeeds the child for y-you. S-some ladies d-depend on another for this t-task.”

  “Why would I want another to serve in my stead?” Elena looked insulted.

  “I-I beg your pardon. I-I meant no offense,” Braiden was quick to say. “I-I just n-noticed that you haven’t fed K-Karaelena, and I-I thought perhaps you did not w-wish to.”

  “Oh my.” Elena’s brow creased with worry. “I have no idea how to feed her. I have only seen grown men sucking on teats, and it was not for sustenance.” Braiden blushed and looked away at her words, but Elena didn’t seem to notice. “I have never observed an infant nursing.” She turned to Silvandir. “I am a hopeless failure as a mother. I don’t know how to give the most basic of care.”

  Silvandir shook his head. “I have lived with men for the last twelve years. I haven’t been around an infant since I was a child. I am equally ignorant.”

  Celdorn and Elbrion glanced at each other. “We also are void of knowledge on this subject,” Celdorn said.

  Mikaelin had retreated until his back was against the wall. He stood mute, the tips of his ears bright red, and looked as if he might flee any moment.

  “I-I have changed plenty of n-nappies for my younger siblings, and I-I have observed my m-mother on occasion f-feeding them, but I-I do not feel qualified to instruct y-you,” Braiden told her. “P-perhaps you would allow D-Dalgo to assist.”

  “No.” Elena’s answer was immediate, hurt still evident in her eyes.

  “Th-then one of the briochellai p-perhaps?”

  Elena looked to Silvandir with dismay; no doubt her drea
m haunted her thoughts. “What should we do?”

  “Whoever assists doesn’t have to touch the baby. She will only be here to instruct you. I promise you, I won’t leave either of you unguarded. We need the help,” Silvandir said in his most matter-of-fact tone. He turned and nodded to Braiden.

  “I-I will be back shortly with s-someone to assist.” Braiden hurried out.

  ~

  Braiden wondered how he would go about discovering who was qualified to show Elena how to breastfeed. His face grew hot just imagining the questions he must ask. No one had told him that this would be part of the healer’s job. He had expected to work exclusively with men, and his training had only encompassed the concerns of a man’s body.

  What a wonderful surprise Elena had been—not that dealing with her had been easy. It was some of the most difficult work he’d ever done. Gut-wrenching at times. But he wouldn’t trade his time with her or the joy of helping her give birth for anything. What a privilege to witness the entrance of such an amazing new life into the world.

  Now he had to find someone to help them keep that little life fed and content.

  ~

  After Braiden left, Elena turned her attention to her adai. “There’s something I have been meaning to ask you for some time.”

  Celdorn and Elbrion stiffened as if bracing themselves for another difficult topic.

  “What is the Elnar word for grandfather?”

  Her adai both laughed and relief relaxed their features.

  “The formal word is Paburah, but the familiar form is Pabu,” Elbrion said with a warm smile.

  “Karaelena, I want you to meet your Pabu Celdorn and your Pabu Elbrion.” The baby gazed up at her as if listening intently.

  Elbrion lifted the child from her arms. “May the light strengthen and protect you all your days, Betha.”

  Elena’s brow furrowed.

  “Pure one.” He answered the unspoken question. “It is the root of her name in Elnar.”

  Again, Elena’s tears flowed. “Hear our cry,” she added, raising her gaze to the ceiling.

  ~

  “Vionessa!”

  Elena’s cry startled Silvandir out of his adoring absorption with their daughter. Braiden had returned with a familiar face.

  “My lady,” the briochella replied with a deep bow.

  “So you are not only gifted in dance but in rearing children as well.”

  “I have three of my own, my lady.” She bowed slightly again.

  “Please stop calling me ‘my lady.’ Elena will do.”

  Vionessa had stalled just inside the door as if afraid to step nearer.

  “You are most welcome,” Elena said with a smile. “Please come and sit beside me.”

  Vionessa glided across the floor noiselessly. Silvandir studied the briochella’s feet, wondering if Elena had been right about them not touching the ground. He couldn’t tell. When he noticed Elena watching him with a raised brow, he pulled his lips tight and suppressed a chuckle. Vionessa might not appreciate their humor.

  Elena patted the bed, and Vionessa sat stiffly. “No need to be afraid,” Elena told her. “I’m the one on unfamiliar ground here. Karaelena has been most anxiously awaiting your visit. She has grown quite frustrated with me.”

  Elena’s breast was red and leaking fluids while the baby’s wet face twisted in mounting desperation.

  “Here, my la—Elena, like this.” She showed Elena how to place the nipple in the frantic mouth. Elena gasped when the baby latched on, and Silvandir found himself envying their daughter. He put his hand in front of his mouth to hide his smirk.

  “It becomes less painful with time,” Vionessa told her shyly.

  Silvandir watched in amazement. He had never seen anything so beautiful as his newborn daughter drawing life from his flushed bride. His heart ached with the love that overwhelmed him. He turned his back for a moment, unwilling to have the visitor see his tears. Celdorn rose and embraced him. Silvandir guessed he was feeling similar things.

  Elbrion sang softly, the tune unfamiliar to Silvandir. Judging by the lyric, it was an ancient song.

  ~

  Vionessa turned her violet eyes to Elbrion and smiled. She had often heard The Prayer for L’Athebrion, the Truth-bearer, sung by her grandmother at the cradles of her siblings and her own children. Her gaze drifted back to the babe in Elena’s arms, and her eyes widened.

  Had Athebria finally come?

  Chapter 41

  “How far have the Elrodanar instructors progressed in the discernment process with the children?” Mikaelin asked Qalam.

  Just inside the compound entrance, he, Tobil, Braiden, and Keymar spoke with Qalam and Dorrick, the Guardians in charge at the academy now that Charaq had relocated with his boys. They stood in a half-circle and studied the line of children that snaked out of the main door of the pentagonal building at the compound’s center. All the boys and girls had their guardians beside them, as Charaq had ordered after the attack on Terzhel.

  “The Elrodanar have done well,” Qalam replied. “They are efficient. The children are headed in for their first class of the day. They’ve been divided up by main giftings, or lack thereof. Only fifty of them, all boys, are showing no signs of special abilities. Another fifty or so, also boys, are displaying only rudimentary skills. All of the girls have at least one of the gifts for which the Elrodanar are testing. Some of them have as many as four.”

  “Which gifts are they checking for?” Mikaelin asked. He hadn’t been privy to the conversations about how the testing would proceed.

  Qalam scratched the beard along his jawline. “Let’s see, healing, reading thoughts, shifting into other forms, empathy, and ...” He looked over at Dorrick. “What’s the other one?”

  “Foresight.”

  “That’s right,” Qalam said. “I don’t think they’ve found one yet that is able to see future events, but quite a few display empathic skills or can communicate with their minds.”

  “And a fair number can change forms, enough to drive their caregivers to drink,” Dorrick added with a laugh.

  Just then, Willowa joined them. “Silothani, good sirs.” She gave the Guardians a warm smile. “Mikaelin, have you come to further your training in the healing arts?”

  “Silothani, Willowa.” Mikaelin dipped his chin. “No, we’re here to check on the progress with the children. Qalam and Dorrick were filling us in on the discernment process.”

  Willowa’s gaze swept over the serpentine line. “An amazing number of gifted ones ...” Her voice held a sad tone. When Mikaelin arched a brow at her, she added, “The Jhadhela is strong among them, but the vessels are so damaged.” Her pulsing light dimmed and slowed. “Over the years, we have instructed many in the use of the Jhadhela’s gifts, but this is different. We must alter our methods.”

  She turned and faced the men, her brows knit in a frown. “I do not know how to describe it. When we instruct the young Elrodanar, it is as if the Jhadhela were a straight beam of light that they learn to turn in the direction needed.” She bit her lip for a moment. “But with these children, it is as if the beam of light is bent in a dozen directions before it can ever be employed. As if it is refracting off the shattered places inside them. When we attempt our traditional exercises, we cannot predict what the outcome may be. Does that make sense?”

  Mikaelin glanced at the others before answering. “No. I’m at a loss and, looking at my friends here, I believe they are as well.”

  Willowa sighed and gazed off to the side for a moment. “Perhaps, if we look at your gift, Mikaelin, you will grasp my meaning. The Jhadhela has gifted you with a healing ability but of a special sort. You absorb wounds. There are Elrodanar healers who can as well, but with them, it is a straight process. They absorb; they release. With you, the line seems to be bent. You absorb, but before you can release you relive their experiences and suffer great pain. Eventually you release, but still carry physical damage that does not depart without the intervention of the hea
ler’s pool—and even then, with some difficulty.”

  Mikaelin blushed at the truth of her words and fixed his gaze on the ground.

  “It seems to me that what happens in your case,” Willowa persisted, “is that the internal damage done to you in your childhood altered the normal path of the Jhadhela, so rather than the light of the gift flowing through you, it refracts off the broken places in your internal world and cannot find the exit.”

  Mikaelin glanced sideways at the other men as his blush deepened.

  Braiden cleared his throat. “P-perhaps that is enough insight for n-now, Willowa. I think w-we grasp your meaning.”

  Willowa startled as if someone had jostled her from a deep sleep. “Oh, Mikaelin.” She covered her mouth, and her face flushed a brilliant red. “I beg your pardon. I was so intent on my point. I-I did not consider ...” She stuttered to a stop.

  “No harm done,” Mikaelin replied, though he felt as if he’d been stripped naked. A hornets’ nest had been stirred within. He clasped his shaking hands behind his back and attempted a nonchalance he did not feel. “So I assume you have seen some interesting expressions of the children’s gifts.”

  “Yes.” Her uncharacteristically succinct answer was followed by a nervous glance toward the academic building. “Umm, I should return to my duties. Please excuse me.” She bobbed a bow. “May Qho’el light your way.”

  After she dashed off, Tobil thankfully redirected their focus with a question to Qalam. “Have you found and dealt with the boys who hurt Terzhel?”

  “Yes, sir. Three have admitted their part in the assault and implicated the fourth, who has refused to take responsibility. Apparently, he was the one who drove the encounter. He has been isolated from the other children for the time being.”